COVID Anxiety and Coping

Let’s face it: 2020 has been a really tough year. Record natural disasters, climate change, political discord, rising crime, police violence, and, of course a global pandemic. COVID’s dangers are not just in the respiratory (or cardiac or neural) system. It has led to economic collapse, mass unemployment, ambiguous loss, an uncertain future, corporate exploitation, a complete loss of boundaries, and mass trauma.

What can we do to cope with such incredible turmoil?

Connect with others

This suggestion may sound impossible during ongoing calls for social distancing and lockdowns. But it’s not! Yes, we’re all tired of Zoom and FaceTime and video chats. Yet, these experiences still matter, especially if we can find a way to connect on a whole new level. There’s also meeting people outside, writing letters (old fashioned, but worth a try!), and finding fun together.

We need family, friends, social networks, and a sense of community to survive. Our world became isolated and stopped valuing these things long before COVID hit. This is an opportunity to refocus on what matters most.

Finding moments of vulnerability, intimacy, and emotional connection without having to showcase yourself or attend the hottest events or spend tons of money is what fuels us more than anything.

Pets also count! Connecting with other living beings is what allows us to feel fulfilled like nothing else. It’s a skill many of us have lost and now need to learn how to get back to. You can also try volunteering, especially if you’ve already had COVID, for the elderly or others who are struggling to function right now.

Giving back and fostering compassion for others can provide us with a sense of meaning and purpose, even in the hardest of times. Not everybody has family, friends, jobs, children, or others they can rely on. Those might be the very people the rest of us can reach out to and try to help. We all need something to get us out of bed each day – taking care of others, pets or human, can give us that.

Acceptance

Whether it’s during a pandemic or not, we have to accept the things we cannot control while focusing on what we can. No matter how much we wish times weren’t as they are, we can’t change it. We must instead learn to work within our unfortunate circumstances.

Right now, most of us are just gritting our teeth and bearing it, hoping that it will all go away in a few months. The thing is, most scientists and reports are telling us that we need to be thinking in terms of years, not months. Our ways of living and coping need to take this into consideration.

There is no returning to a past normal. The future will be different as we continue to adapt to not only this disease, but the changing political and climate cultures. If we don’t accept this reality, we create unnecessary suffering, anxiety, and anger in our efforts to try and control what we cannot.

Part of this adaptation is focusing on what brings us meaning and purpose. As stated above, this tends to be when we connect with others, give back, take responsibility for an other, and learn to be vulnerable and intimate.

Meaning also tends to come in expressions of creativity, play, hobbies, sports, or other activity that sparks joy within. Sometimes it comes from one’s job, though this is actually pretty rare. It least not in a deep way. Find time to get into nature, feel the sun on your skin, find the simplicity in life, and slow down. If not now, when?

Live in the present

Once we can accept the present for what it is, we can push ourselves to remain here. Too often, we ruminate on what once was (usually idealizing the past in the process) to the detriment of enjoying what is right now. Or, instead, we keep waiting for what we think will be, often finding ourselves frustrated and disappointed when it doesn’t happen the way we dreamed or come fast enough.

Living in the present is about asking ourselves “What will give me or others joy right now?” These simple moments, finding small things that bring joy, eventually become larger realities.

It’s about noticing the tension in your body and finding ways to release. Being mindful of the here and now is also about being attuned to those we are communicating with, spending time with, living with, or even just passing on the street or in the store. Every moment is one that has the potential for joy, connection, and relaxation.

If circumstances are so grim, however, staying present focused might feel too overwhelming to bear. Thinking ahead to a fantasized future or remembering times when there wasn’t so much pain can help motivate us in the present. Reminiscing and/or planning for the future is a very important part of coping with hard times. The key is to not get lost there.

Find balance

As with everything in life, finding contentment or internal peace is about balance. Nothing is inherently good or bad, as too much of a good thing…well… you get it.

As social distancing and lockdown measures continue to be implemented, shaming over what others believe to be right or wrong is at an all time high. The thing is, with few exceptions, there isn’t a whole lot that is objectively right or wrong.

Some people feel best staying more isolated, having few contacts outside of a close knit circle (if even that), and somewhat hibernating until it’s safer to head back out. That’s fine if they can sustain it and if it feels good for them. But, this isn’t for everybody.

Knowing what to risk, so long as it is not a risk to others, is entirely individual. Many are eating out, but will only do so indoors. Some are fine indoors. Again, so long as you are not putting others at risk, you need to find the right balance for yourself between safety and risk.

Additionally, there is a balancing act between risking catching a potentially deadly disease and one’s overall mental health. Seeing as how connection with others is by far the most important factor in our overall wellbeing, physical and mental, this is far from a black or white issue. A lot of people live alone these days. A lot of people are single. Not socializing in person is near impossible if we think in terms of years, not months.

Further, more effort needs to be made by many to find a better balance between work and actual life. This is not something that’s new, but has become exponentially worse since folks have started working from home. There has to be boundaries. You have to find separation and have your personal life be yours, away from work and work reminders. It might take a lot of creativity to figure out how to find this balance, but it’s paramount to emotional well-being.

Exercise and eat healthy

It’s near impossible to read any story these days that talks about coping that doesn’t mention exercising and eating healthy. Annoying? Maybe. But, there’s a reason for it. Our emotional and psychological state is highly, highly influenced by our physical state.

The problem is that people tend to take these things to extremes. Exercising and eating healthy is also about balance. Going for a 15 minute walk is often enough to lift our mood and help our bodies feel more energized and less stiff and sore. It need not be about a hard core hours long sweat fest. You just need to move your body.

Same with food. Eat vegetables. Every day. Try to avoid processed foods and too much food. At the same time, a beer a burger and some fries might be the very thing needed in the present to feel joy. It’s about the overall picture, not every single meal. By treating our bodies with respect and nurturing it, we learn to treat our whole self with respect and nurturance. And this just feels darn good.

Talk about it

Pretending like everything is fine helps no one. Things are not fine for most right now. So, talk about it with someone. Friends, family, a therapist, your priest/rabbi, your goldfish – who cares? Just don’t hold it in. That being said, this, too, is about balance. We need to vent and to be vulnerable, but if it starts to become ruminating out loud or ranting, it might be time to pull back a bit. The reason is this actually creates more anger for us and others in a time when we need to balance out that anger with other things.

So, also talk about what you love, something silly and funny, or just what you appreciate about the person you are talking to. It will make them and you feel good, and, at the end of the day, isn’t that what we’re talking about here?