Sexual Assault Survivors in NYC: Therapy and Recovery

This week marked the International Women’s Day 2021. The next day, NPR reported on a major study report from the World Health Organization showing the startling numbers of women who experience sexual assault or physical violence throughout the world. In New York City alone, sexual assault has been experienced by at least 18% of women, and 1% of women in the past year. It is estimated that 50,000 women in NYC are assaulted each year, with less than half of those ever being reported.

Although men of course do, indeed, experience sexual abuse and assault, overwhelmingly rape and violence is perpetrated against women. While the overall number of women who have had such experiences has not changed in over a decade (around 1 in 3!), the specific trends found within the WHO report were staggering. Just a few of their findings:

1 in 4 women have experienced physical/sexual violence within a relationship by age 19
6% of women globally report non-partner assault/violence
In lower income regions, up to half the female population will experience violence from a partner
Major disparities based on race, minority-status, and socio-economic status

According to the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault, 40% of Black women report sexual assault by age 18, while 19% of Latina teens report dating violence in the year prior to the their report (2007). Women who identify with a sexual minority also experience assault at higher rates, with approximately 46% of bisexual women reporting rape and 50% of transgender individuals experiencing sexual assault within their lifetime.

The pandemic and a year of lockdown (where many victims cannot escape their abusers) has surely made things exponentially worse.

With so many survivors and with assault being so common, you’d think there would be more awareness and effort at the highest levels to change every system that contributes to the ongoing oppression of women and minorities. That utopia, sadly, does not exist. Rather, survivors are left to make their way forward in life with wounds that often remain hidden, despite how much those wounds might influence one’s life. There are many resources in NYC and nationally after the fact (see the end of this post) that can be extremely helpful in mitigating long-term affects of trauma.

Most people, however, tend to not report or get the help they need immediately after such painful experiences. Understandably, there tends to be a strong urge to just make it all go away. To avoid. To ignore. Even to protect or justify the abuser. Eventually, though, past trauma tends to resurface in the body, in relationships, in one’s sense of self, and in one’s general well-being.

Just some of the most common experiences among survivors include:

Shame, self-hatred, and chronic guilt
Depression and anxiety
Post-traumatic stress
Auto-immune diseases
Sexual problems in current relationships
Feelings of uncontrollable rage
Physical pain and unexplained bodily issues
Dissociation and feeling like nothing is real
Self-harm and suicidality
Substance abuse/addiction

Recovery is possible.

For some, therapy can be a major resource in this healing journey. It is important for someone having the above experiences to seek out a specialist in trauma and/or sexual violence. Healing does require facing the pain of the past while also doing so with support, understanding, and a sense of safety and containment.

The therapy process is not just about talking through past trauma, but rather about learning skills and techniques to cope with somatic and emotional repercussions. It’s about learning to trust and feeling heard, connecting with a safe other. Recovery, overall, is about learning new patterns and habits not based in trauma and self-hatred. Therapy is also a space to learn to trust and love yourself.

You didn’t deserve what happened to you. No matter what the circumstances were. You didn’t deserve it. Nobody ever does.

Resources for survivors of sexual assault:

New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault – http://svfreenyc.org/survivor-resources/

Safe Horizon – https://www.safehorizon.org/get-help/rape-and-sexual-assault/

Now NYC – https://nownyc.org/womens-justice-now/get-help/

Sexual Violence Helplines:

1-800-942-6906: New York State Domestic & Sexual Violence Hotline for confidential assistance.
1-844-845-7269: Report sexual assault on a New York college campus to the New York State Police.
New York City: 1-800-621-HOPE (4673) or 311.
1-800-656-HOPE (4673) – National Hotline for sexual assault survivors